I love the dead?

 

I love the dead. Not in the highly illegal pants around you ankles in a morgue kind of way, More of a Friday night zombie movie-fest....with chips and dip kind of way.

I don't know what fascinates us when it comes to the newly reanimated, maybe its the fact that they are us. Zombies are often over looked in the monster stakes. They're slow, look like shit and have a really impolite habit of falling apart at your new years party. Nobody likes to be in mid conversation when suddenly the persons nose falls into his appletini. But I don't agree, zombies are the ultimate monster, OK so most of the other nasties can easily kick zom-ass but they all have major drew backs. Vampires can't go out in the daylight, can't look at cross's and hate garlic, unless its a 'vampire' from the Twilight novels which ignore all the above rules so in my eyes are not vampires but moody tree climbing emo teens. Werewolf's only have any powers when its a full moon...rubbish. The rest of the time its just some guy with a taste for dog food. Mummies f**k off. So it comes down to the good old zombie, no fear, no feelings just a unstoppable hunger for the white meat. Now we all sit there in our soft arm chairs drinking tea, maybe dunking the odd Hobnob shouting at the screen 'that's not the way you take down a zombie'. But how many of us have really thought about the survival methods when it comes down to a zombie apocalypse. Weapons should be top of the list, but first up forget chainsaws, yeah they look cool but have you tried to get one started, yes, well picture that with a whole shit load of zom's coming at you. You get it started and its all limbs a flying and your having a right gay old time till....bang you cut off your own leg. So pick your killing tool well. Hold up in a safe place and try not to go crazy. You too can learn all this by just watching a few good zombie movies, but a word of warning there are a LOT of crap movies out there that claim to be zombie movies, when they are in fact piles of horse vomit, trying to live of the true greats of the genre, Night of the living dead and two movies that followed. So I say long live the zombie, or long un-live the zombie.